This is a true story about love and hate. It is about happiness and sadness, and the joys and sorrows we live in life. It is a story about great frustration, and also one of enduring patience and peace. It is about hurting, and being hurt, and about loving and forgiving those around us. It is a story about two people in love, who get married, and slowly learn the truth, of what love is all about. This is my story, "Married with Children". Non Fiction. Many of you might be wondering about who I am. Am I young or old, handsome or ugly, single or married? I am all the above. Some days I feel like a spring chicken, ready to go out and face the world with all the excitement and vigor of a teenager. Other days, I just want to stay inside, and rest my weary old bones. Yes, I am married. My wife's name is Janet. We have been married for what seems like a million years. :) It has actually only been thirty four, and she is my first and only wife, and I am her first and only husband. We have raised six wonderful children together, while battling life at every turn imaginable. We have been to deaths door many times, but thankfully, none of the eight of us, have had to step through just yet. We have fought a financial war, our entire marriage. We have taken up swords against one another far too many times, only to come out more beat up and scarred then we were before. Over time however, our scars have proved to bring us closer to each other, and slowly we are finding out the most intimate parts of our lives and love together. Having a large family, I was forced to work long hours away from home. I always managed to sleep in my bed, if only for an hour or so, and then back on the road to work. I did on occasion though, find time to take the kids camping or down the river. Janet was the one who carted them around daily to their activities or friends houses. Living in a somewhat rural area, walking was not an option. She was always a good mom, and tried her best, but she said "no", a lot to them. I, whenever around, was the one to always say yes. I thought she was just mean about a lot of things. Why can't they go, I would ask angrily. Because I said, she would reply. After her and I fighting, I would drive the kids where ever. I didn't completely understand, that all week she was the primary care giver, and chauffeur. I thought because I worked such a physical job and drove so much, that her job was easy. I know better now. But man, was life together hard. If I said black, she said white. Up, down, in, out. It seemed everything became a competition between us. We went on some date nights, only to wind up fighting about where to go, or how much to pay the sitter. After our sixth child Benjamin was born, Janet was in her early thirties, and I almost forty. The first five kids were all in school, and she spent her days with Ben. I was still always working long hours, but raced home at night, to be with my family. Janet and I did not communicate well. She resented my being away from home all day. She also hated never having enough money to live like other people we knew. We actually knew far more folks in the same boat as us, but she wanted more. She hated me for her having to be a stay at home mom. I guess I was a bit adamant about wanting her to raise our children, and not some stranger. With my own childhood abuses, I wanted my kids safe. So yea I did kind of force her to not work and stay at home. She half understood but resented me for it anyway. As the long empty days went by, Janet became lonely and bored. It was time to rip my heart out of my chest. I was up and out by four am, and she would get the kids ready and on the bus, then she went out to play. Her playtime lasted ten years. Our children were young, and need a parent home to care for them. I had to work, just to keep afloat. Each day my heart hurt more and I became the best man I could, to try and bring her back around. I cooked midnight dinners for her, flowers and candy, even wrote things for her. I took days off to care for the kids and watched our financial status crumble and sink even lower. I would come home as the kids were getting off the bus and try and be there for her. She was off and in love with anyone but me. I told a close friend at the time, that if she didn't figure herself out by the time be graduated high school, that that was it. I would divorce her and start anew. As the kids got older they began to suspect what was happening. When I would set up a camping trip, the girls wanted to stay home. We don't like camping they said. At first, I thought they were doing it because their mom would never come anymore. I later learned, they stayed home to curtail her activities. They all suffered. We all suffered. Regardless of the on goings, we all remained very close. The kids and I. I taught them about convictions, and promises. I remained loyal to my marital vows, and to my children. After ten years of infidelity, she came to me and spilled her guts. That was about eleven years ago. She was sorry. My heart and soul were numb, as far as having a loving relationship again with her. I had grown bitter and distraught. Many times during that ten year span, when we would fight, she would call the police, and I would be put in jail for the night, or forced to stay at a motel. Funny how she could be the guilty one, and I had to pay the price. I said I forgave her, and God only knows how hard that was to do. I have not forgotten any of it, nor do I ever expect to. The kids are now all out on their own, and the nest being empty is rough. But we seem to be communicating like adults, for the first time ever. Our relationship has been platonic for years, and yet I have never strayed. Don't ask me why, I just couldn't. I have had the chance many times over the years, but I want true love, not just a fling. We each do our own thing and that is good. Janet works when I'm off, and I'm working when she is off. The rest of the time we do spend together in our home. We now share the cooking and cleaning, however I let her handle the laundry. She pays her own way for the most part and that is a good thing too. We talk now instead of fighting. She cuts the grass and helps with the gardens, she also works with the chickens and ducks, helping keep them watered and fed, and closes the coop up at night. My heart has slowly begun to open up to her again. We seem for the first time ever, to be headed in the right direction. We care for, and respect each other. Something we lost long ago. When you see the old couple walking down the road who kind of look alike, ( the dog too lol), think of us. It takes a lot of strength and courage to stay and fight a losing battle. But with perseverance, we just might win the war. I am looking forward to one day picking up where we left off so many years ago. I am more then ready physically, but mentally I have some growing to do first. Because of all the friction and pain in our lives, we are growing closer as soulmates, than I could have ever Imagined. It has been a long lonely road, but I believe it will prove to be more than worth the wait. This story is about the most personal and hard thing I have ever shared. Am I old? I guess you could say I am learned and weathered. Am I handsome? Inside and out. Am I single? Your guess is as good as mine. Love is the deepest state of being! Patience, Perseverance Understanding, and Forgiveness. We all make mistakes <3